Who befriends a foreigner?

Another evening with the usual suspects: Sandra; the French volunteer Stephanie; her Honduran boyfriend Fernando, who is back in Olanchito on vacation from university; his 4-year-old son Xahil; and the ever-unpredictable Jorge, Fernando’s best friend, who not only accepted my dinner invitation when I saw him this afternoon (standard Honduran good manners, even if you have no intention of showing up), but also came, and exactly on time. Uncharacteristic of him, due to problems that have been familiar to me since my initial taste of gossip during my first week in Olanchito. In the back of my mind, I sometimes wonder who are these few Hondurans who choose to befriend we foreigners. Are they just nice people, like Sandra and her family? Are they people who know of worlds other than Olanchito, and who also feel socially isolated in this town? Fernando studies in Cuba; Jorge is half-Cuban and speaks English because of some connection his parents have with the States; our other Honduran friend Raquel (who spent time with us last fall before she got married and took on three teaching jobs) has also traveled out of the country (to Cuba). But are these people so willing to spend time with us because they are unoccupied by normal social engagements for some reason? Because Jorge has well-known substance abuse problems and is routinely estranged from his wife? Because unsavory rumors about previous men surround Raquel, who has the masculine habit of smoking, perhaps preventing her from making normal friends of her peers in Olanchito? Does being a foreigner relegate me to joining the ranks of the social pariahs?

But perhaps these friendships are based on something simpler: just being nice to each other. During most periods of my life in the States, I have had foreign friends. Some immigrated early in their childhood, but most only had temporary student visas or were so-called FOB’s (Fresh Off the Boat, what immigrants demeaningly call other immigrants who have arrived more recently). One reason I liked to be with foreigners was because their presence fed my curiosity for parts of the world I had never seen. But probably the main reason that I hung around foreigners, particularly newly arrived ones, was because most were still unaware of the structure or rigidity of the social hierarchy of their new environment, a hierarchy that I have always considered superficial and prefer to sidestep. Befriending a foreigner means spending time with someone who only requires that you be nice. A foreigner can’t tell if your clothes are stylish or not, they don’t care if you drive a cool car, or even own a car, because their family that is starting over from scratch in a new country certainly can’t afford much, and the lack of witticism or complex humor is greatly appreciated since they don’t understand English very well. You don’t have to be cool, or rich, or the sharpest tool in the shed to easily make friends with a foreigner. You only have to be open-minded. As long as you don’t constantly make fun of their bad accent, bad grammar or the bad haircut that they haven’t realized they should change yet, you have a loyal friend who is appreciative of every moment you spend with them.

And so I willingly put myself in their shoes here. I don’t care if other olanchitos think my Honduran friends are reputation-deficient, or if these friends simply spend time with me for the novelty of it. All I want is to be with nice people who have the patience to make the little extra effort to understand the foreigner.